We present this excerpt from “My Lovedance”because we believe the methods used to calm a situation down are vital for the now, and we don’t want to wait till Christmas.
Learning to be my truth within my family of origin has taken a very long time. It is our soul work to witness our lessons in the mirror of those we love. And families are magnifying lenses…
Dec 23rd, 2003
Off to Utah for the family holidays. Anxious premonitions of my beloved Santa cup breaking. After 20 years of keeping them safe for my sisters, I tried to pack them carefully, but one tumbled out of the car, so I traded my unscathed cup for the fractured one. This trip is about breaking attachments, perhaps to things, but yet deeper, to what I believed my sisters to be. As I am coming to know myself as joyous passion I shall recognize who they are as love. So many sister dreams lately. Since childhood, I have flown in my dreams stringing them along like Peter Pan, barely able to get them off the ground. Lately in my dreams, I do not hold their hands, but try to teach them to fly on their own, but they resist. I feel tired, saddened. Will my sisters throw me out like Yeshua was thrown out of Nazareth? Strangers can be more accepting than those closest when you change too rapidly. Read the rest of this entry »
We have heard much of the Mind-Body connection. How thought creates reality. I believe the connection is deeper. That the body is the perfect vehicle for the soul in this earthly dimension. It is through the dense, sensual physical body that the soul learns profound lessons and experiences precious gifts.
Within the temple of the body exists all the knowledge needed for the soul to complete its journey here on earth. The vital information lies deep within each cell, in the genetic blueprint—the DNA. Encoded for optimal existence, our DNA resonates with the earth, with the plants and the animals. And our DNA resonates with others through the experience of Emotion. Emotion is the path to the soul, the body is the garden in which the path takes form. Read the rest of this entry »
Driving back home on Southern California freeways crowded with tourists taking advantage of the last glorious summer weekend…an ache in my breast, a dark shadow where the sun once shone, an eclipse in my existence…I left my daughter, my sunshine, at the university in San Diego.
How long I’ve prepared for this transition, how many soulful meditations, how many intimate conversations with so many other mothers who have gone through this phase of life. Yet in spite of all my work, during that last kiss goodbye, the cords that bound our hearts pulled so tight to nearly snap. Read the rest of this entry »
There are eight shifts of consciousness. I heard these briefly listed in a presentation. They feel very right, yet I needed more, so here they are in order of how most people experience them. I illustrated each shift with examples from my life. You can plug in your own experiences…
—First you ask what’s real? This is the beginning. You’re awakening! Yeah! Read the rest of this entry »
Can you balance your brain with nutrition? Well, science says yes. Our brains need specific nutrients for proper functioning. And malfunctioning brains need more.
At the center of the brain lies the maestro—the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus orchestrates the symphony of hormones produced by the neuro-immune-endocrine system. These “hormones” control all of your body’s functioning—digestion, detoxification, growth, repair, sleep, sex drive, reproduction, stress response, metabolism, body composition, immunity, healing, cognition, learning and memory.
The hypothalamus also controls the amino acids that the rest of the brain uses to function. And most people do not get the proper nutrition to supply the brain with what it needs for optimal function. That’s one of the reasons antidepressants, anti-anxiety and memory enhancing drugs are so commonly prescribed today. Read the rest of this entry »
So you think you’re stuck with what you’re born with? Not so.
Our genetic potential has barely been tapped. Most of us only use about 30% of our DNA. What do I mean by that? Well, when scientists finally decoded DNA in 2000 they found that less than one third of our genetic material was being expressed. The rest they called junk. We have since found out that the rest of the “unexpressed DNA” is not junk.
Think of holiday lights taken out of storage. A tangled mess you plug in and only 1/3 of the lights are on. Now with a little work, you can disentangle the lights and figure out which bulb needs tightening or replaced and viola, they all work. Well, same with our DNA. The secret is how to tap into to our highest potential. Read the rest of this entry »
Writing my novel helped me heal the Mother Wound…the original separation from the Divine Mother…as my heroine Mary Magdalen awakened to her truth as the Divine Daughter…so did I…and in doing so received the fullness of the Divine Mother.
I reconnected to Her…embodied in the Earth…enlivened in the hearts of so many women here in Ojai…mothers and grandmothers who receive me…as if I am the Divine Daughter…and I feel it. I see the Divine Daughter energy in so many others…women young and old and even a few precious men.
Nearly three years after LoveDance® was launched, I found myself facing another wound…the Father Wound—separation from the Divine Father. Yes, I had begun Book II… LoveDance® is a trilogy…and I began the second book shortly after the first was launched…I got 1/3 through the writing…and just as my heroine Mary Magdalen confronts her father wound…I could write no more!
Why? Because until I face it, live it, breathe it, am I able to write it. What I wrote in the first book became manifest for me. I did not realize the depth of the mother wound I embodied, imprinted since prenatal time, brought into this lifetime as deep karmic imprints. I had done a regression on myself many years before. Way before LoveDance® …two years before I dreamt I was Mary Magdalen walking down the streets of Nazareth, I brought myself back to the womb…Disentangled myself from maternal karmic imprints… from the Red Cord…
Looking down between my fetal thighs, I was surprised to see NO penis! No blade! How could I accomplish my mission in this form? I felt a pulsation deep in my belly, putrid fearful, coming not from me, but through the umbilical cord—the Red Cord.
It was my mother’s fear. I felt her. Her world as she perceived it…the struggle with her parents, her new husband, her fear…her fear of her mother, then…
I was in my grandmother’s womb feeling her fear through the red cord. And then in her mother’s womb feeling her mother’s fear and her mother’s and back and back in time. Like a video montage, yet I could feel the fear…yellow and acidic as bile…the pain, tears, terror…of losing children, abortions, stillborn babies. Of being raped, used as chattel, traded like beasts. Of husbands, and fathers and lovers beating us, blaming us. Of too many babies, of hunger and pain, of sending our sons off to war and our daughters into the same traps we found ourselves. Of burning at the stake, of drowning, of torture for being our truth. Of giving away our power.
Through my mother’s womb, through hers, and unto the beginning of time. Back to Eve. All of women’s woes…that was my fear. The fear I had been purging forever.
Time to release it.
I awoke with a clear intention and pure desire to release my mothers’ fear, all of my mothers.
In synchronicity that same day, I had an appointment with an energy healer. She was working with another powerful male healer. He stood at my feet, she at my head. I didn’t tell them of my vision, but lay there fully intending to release. And I did. Like a volcanic eruption of black tar, the energy exploded from my belly into the atmosphere. I felt lighter and freer than ever. I opened my eyes laughing and sat up.
The two healers were plastered against the walls of the healing room. “What was THAT?”
“That was fear! And it’s not mine!”
Then I headed to the beach, and lay on the sand, my feet in the water, the sun on my naked skin and was held by the Great Mother. My Divine Mother loves me…I am everything she ever desired in a daughter. I no longer need to purge the fear of my sex.
I enter the cave from the cove. Bright orange fish reflect the fading light. Swimming silently in the brisk dark water, I go deeper. Voices echo indistinctly as kayakers enter the ocean side of this long dark sea cavern. The tunnel curves so the light cannot follow. I can see nothing. Only feel the brush of kelp against my bare legs and smooth fluttering of fish passing near. I raise my masked face to take in the dark. This could be scary if I chose fear. But I choose love. And swim on through the dark.
My niece swims past me never raising her head, so I follow her out to the open ocean. I promised her mother, I would watch over her. We wait for my sister to join us. We wait and wait. And after a long while, my sister appears. She clutches a rock nearest the tunnel and rips off her mask, breathing hard, panic emanating from her. She looked up in the dark and chose fear. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s been a time of turmoil. A rollercoaster of events creating great change. Some desired. Some unexpected, but needed. Some dreaded, but well, here it is. The whole world is transforming. People around the world are asking for change, gathering, protesting, demonstrating. The time is ripe for transformation. Why?
Because we cannot evolve without change. We have been like caterpillars consuming everything in our need to grow. And then it seems everything stood still…there was little growth…as if we were in a cocoon of our own making…some have called it a recession and financially perhaps it is, but I call it a transformation. For under the stillness, great change is occurring. The caterpillar is transforming into a butterfly. Soon the first of the butterflies will emerge. Read the rest of this entry »
On a hot summer morning, my last day of vacation before work resumes, I am searching for something on the back of my horse. Shane has a hesitant energy about her, barn-sour perhaps, missing her goat. I ask her to move on, but she stops three times on the trail. Charlie, my border collie-greyhound mix tucks himself under her tail. Both are usually gregarious, anxious to get out, to run side by side. Not today.
I reminisce. Our vacation in Cancun last week was amazing. A heart felt sensuous discovery. Kundalini energy rising from the alabaster sand through the turquoise sea and into puffy white clouds floating in the azure sky. Serpentine spirals floating in my heart chakra. I see these same serpentine energies—a dance of silver and gold—arising from my pituitary into my crown, down my spine and into my mare’s. Her hooves solidify our connection to the earth. Read the rest of this entry »